(Source: catchymemes, via joshpeck)
Why do I never think about the possibility of snow on the ocean???
Now I see why, because it’s too ethereal
(Source: catchymemes, via sorry)
i just saw a fb post where a man was arguing with a woman about the best way to make macarons and he kept insisting that she was wrong, and then eventually he was like “I’ve never personally made macarons, but if you think about it what I’m saying makes sense, i’m simply stating the obvious. i’m sure there are plenty of youtube tutorials that would show you the same thing.” and the woman replied by linking him to her instagram business page and she makes fuckin macaron towers for parties for a living and i’ve been laughing about it for a solid 5 minutes.
Men automatically assume they’re more of an expert on something than any woman on account of their dicks. I’ve never met such an ignorant and narcissistic creature as a male
I’ll never forget a time when a fb friend of mine posted that she’s on her way to hospital to give birth. Women commented with “good luck” and other encouraging messages. A man’s comment was advice on how to give birth.
You have got to be kidding me
So I was talking about Jekyll & Hyde (the book) at a writer’s museum while we were looking at an Robert Louis Stevenson exhibit. I was giving my take on Jekyll, and my brother tried to counter it. I countered back easily, and then he said “well I’ve never read the book”
My dude………..stop
my ex, whose baking experience was pretty much limited to frying premade biscuit dough in boy scouts to make ‘donuts’, would constantly try to correct me or give me advice on baking
i’m a fucking pastry chef
met a dude at a party who was talking about physics and asked if i’d ever listened to any online physics lectures bc he listened to all of this one series and they were so helpful and maybe i could learn some physics too
i have a degree in physics
and am a published coauthor in astrophysics
the best part is that the woman who invented the term ‘mansplaining’ (her name is Rebecca Solnit and i highly recommend her collection of essays) came up with it when she was at a party one night and a man tried to explain a book to her, and wouldn’t let her speak long enough for her to tell him that
she wrote the bloody book he was mansplaining to her
You know I have plenty examples of this but that last one takes the cake so imma just let it be.
(via acesammy)
(Source: thejusticethatissocial, via humorrelated)
cats don’t understand what it means when you give them kisses ):
good news tho!! they understand it 2 a point (i was distraught about this post so i looked it up)
cats don’t kiss like humans but they do appreciate human touch and feel loved when u kiss and pet them
they don’t understand kisses but they accept them as forms of affection n love
ur cat knows u love them
You can also help them understand by mixing kisses with rubbing your cheek/nose/forehead over the top of their head, their cheek, or down their shoulders, just like cats rub against each other and humans to show affection. Also gently bonking foreheads to imitate the ‘I love you please pet me’ headbutt. Brushing & scratching at itchy spots for them imitates the grooming that cats who live together in colonies do for each other. Basically just try to find hygienic ways of imitating cat social behaviors, short of actual licking, lol.
My cat will touch her nose to mine & rub her cheek across my face, which allows me to plant a kiss on her cheek. When she’s sitting in my lap, she’ll tip her head back until I lean down and kiss or nuzzle the top of her head. I’ve even found her occasionally trying to imitate the “mwah!” sound of my kisses, where she’ll nuzzle my face and make little chirping “mah! mah!” sounds. Cats are pretty smart little social creatures; they’ll figure out how to speak your language, especially if you put in the effort to speak theirs.
don’t listen to this coward, grow up and lick your cat
(via ambeanoburrito)
therareandferociousswamprabbit:
“Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers’ room, waiting for the Wednesday night read-through to start. […] Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can’t remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and oud and “unladylike”,
Jimmy Fallon […] turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, “Stop that! It’s not cute! I don’t like it.”
Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. “I don’t fucking care if you like it.” Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit.
With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it.”- Tina Fey, Bossypants
This one never gets old.
(Source: amypoehler, via alexander)
Acting like the crows won’t try to cheat the system.
Acting like the crows won’t snatch cigarettes outta people’s mouths.
Acting like murders won’t fight viciously for terf.
If they cheat the system then they earned it.
Crows reduce the rates of lung cancer by aggressively nabbing cigarettes, news at 11.
fuck it let’s just have public health policy via crows
(via ambeanoburrito)
human brain: im angry
gorilla brain: hit something
chimpanzee brain: scream
orangutan brain: sit in silent contempt and eat fruit
gorillaz brain: feel good
(via firedrill)
(Source: thesnarkbait, via sarah-lou-who)